But does someone truly want to hear that repeatedly? Sometimes, I even believe myself for a split second that I am fine. I do not want to bring either of us down with my reality. I do not want to burden you with my problems or send my rain cloud over your head. I’m fine means that what goes on in my mind sounds scary and all too sad. When I say I am fine, what I really mean is I am in horrific pain and that I really want to curl up into a ball and cry. So I stand there, smile on, which has become my new shield of strength, and play my role. It appears you entered an invalid email. I am struggling, but really do not want you … I am in denial and want to believe that I truly am fine. “You are sick again?” is not a response I feel like hearing. I’m afraid you’ll minimize my feelings and sum it up with a kind-sounding, well-meaning equivocation. The most told lie in the English language. Oops! Become a Mighty contributor here. We want to hear your story. But the conversation ends, and I remember, no, I am not fine. Either a very generic remark in response to a generic question, or something to be very worried about. I have become so accustomed to answering that question with, “I’m fine.” After all, that is one of the most commonly used and acceptable answers to a question like that. We are not in an acceptable place for me to explain how I truly am feeling. 7. Ah, that one question we want so badly for loved ones to ask, yet cringe when they actually ask it. 6. I am fine means, I am here, I showed up, I got dressed, and I am fighting to get through the day in one piece. I am not fine, but it is easier to say that, than explain how I really am feeling. A lie takes the pressure off of you. They say ‘I’m fine’ because they don’t want to worry anyone with their problems, and it’s easier than explaining what’s wrong. 1. 11. Used when someone is, in fact, not fine, but drowning in their sadness. You do not have to explain every ache and pain that you are feeling. 10. However, here are 15 things I really mean or am thinking, when I answer with, “I’m fine.” 1. | 8. 13. © pagespeed.lazyLoadImages.overrideAttributeFunctions();if(typeof(jQuery)=="function"){(function($){$.fn.fitVids=function(){}})(jQuery)};jwplayer('jwplayer_k4hK06Up_F962XJnx_div').setup({"playlist":"http://content.jwplatform.com/feeds/k4hK06Up.json","ph":2}); “I’m fine” has become my comfort zone, my security blanket. 3. My mind races from one negative thought to another, and I don’t think you really want to hear it. 14. A real answer may be extremely more complicated to explain. I am far from fine. How many times can you explain to someone that you do not feel well? I can try to pretend things are normal. 2. I am struggling, but really do not want you to know that because it makes me feel weak. I do not want you to know how I really feel because I can already feel the judgment. 2020 Mighty Proud Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 2. That does not mean I am OK, but it means for that one moment, I can put a smile on and try to handle my day. But a lie is easier to for the person asking to hear. Terms. However, in the chronic illness world, “I’m fine” masks what we really want to say. Privacy In that one moment, I am not having a flare-up or pain. I am crashing, but my eyes are open and I am talking to you, so that must mean I am fine. I may have already tried explaining to you once before, and it did not go well. Reality is, not much has changed. 9. I am not fine, but it is easier to say that, than explain how I really am feeling. But, I need to focus on staying positive. 15. For a split second, I may actually feel fine. On the other hand, I may be just too tired to answer with anything other than I am fine. 5. 12. 4. It may not reflect how we are truly feeling. “I’m fine” has become my comfort zone, my security blanket. However, here are 15 things I really mean or am thinking, when I answer with, “I’m fine.” I do not want your pity because I do not feel well, and I do not want you to try to cure me.
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